Gosh, there are so many things I want to blog about, some of them are random, and some are not.. and when it comes to blogging the options are endless…
so I think, my decision for now is that my personal blogging will be random topics, I’m not going to confine myself to one area.. so sit back and enjoy the ride!
I’m 30-ish… married with children.. one of my 3 is not biologically mine.. he lives with us 50-70% of the time, depending on how the wind is blowing is probably the easiest way to put it..
I love to read, and to sing… wow do I love to sing… for me a world without singing is a world without oxygen.. Sometimes I feel so vulnerable when I sing, because if you look carefully enough at me, you just might see a part of my soul. My love of singing has been passed onto my daughter, who I might add has the voice of angel. She is so amazing and everytime I look at her I am reminded that this beautiful soul once grew inside of me.. I still marvel at that!
If I had to choose a song to say how I feel today, I think it would have to be the Negro Spiritual Song “Sometimes I feel like a Motherless child” My relationship with my parents is what I call hard.. my husband calls it crazy… my auntie calls it unfair… when I am by myself, I call it heartbreaking.
I try and convince my husband that it doesn’t really bother me, and that it’s fine… that I’m coping.. of course he can see right through that and usually leaves me be until I’m ready to discuss it.
They live a good 3 days drive away, which thankfully means they can’t come and visit often.. My Dad is a heavy drinker, and the last time I saw Mum I have to admit she’s drinking a lot more too…. now don’t get me wrong, i’m not against drinking… but my Mother’s father died an alcoholic and I have a sister who is one as well… and I don’t understand why my parents drink when it brings out this darkness inside of them… and all they want to do is cause pain to others around them.
Now don’t panic, this isn’t going to be a poor me saga blog, but today this is what is on my mind… and above anything else I am survivor, so no matter what is thrown at me I’m going to keep going, because my children and my husband give me all the happiness I need.