My first Post… To blog or not to blog, that is the Question

Gosh, there are so many things I want to blog about, some of them are random, and some are not.. and when it comes to blogging the options are endless…

so I think, my decision for now is that my personal blogging will be random topics, I’m not going to confine myself to one area.. so sit back and enjoy the ride!

 

I’m 30-ish… married with children.. one of my 3 is not biologically mine.. he lives with us 50-70% of the time, depending on how the wind is blowing is probably the easiest way to put it..

 

I love to read, and to sing… wow do I love to sing… for me a world without singing is a world without oxygen.. Sometimes I feel so vulnerable when I sing, because if you look carefully enough at me, you just might see a part of my soul.  My love of singing has been passed onto my daughter, who I might add has the voice of angel. She is so amazing and everytime I look at her I am reminded that this beautiful soul once grew inside of me.. I still marvel at that!

If I had to choose a song to say how I feel today, I think it would have to be the Negro Spiritual Song “Sometimes I feel like a Motherless child”  My relationship with my parents is what I call hard.. my husband calls it crazy… my auntie calls it unfair… when I am by myself, I call it heartbreaking.

I try and convince my husband that it doesn’t really bother me, and that it’s fine… that I’m coping.. of course he can see right through that and usually leaves me be until I’m ready to discuss it.

They live a good 3 days drive away, which thankfully means they can’t come and visit often.. My Dad is a heavy drinker, and the last time I saw Mum I have to admit she’s drinking a lot more too…. now don’t get me wrong, i’m not against drinking… but my Mother’s father died an alcoholic and I have a sister who is one as well… and I don’t understand why my parents drink when it brings out this darkness inside of them… and all they want to do is cause pain to others around them.

Now don’t panic, this isn’t going to be a poor me saga blog, but today this is what is on my mind…  and above anything else I am survivor, so no matter what is thrown at me I’m going to keep going, because my children and my husband give me all the happiness I need.

xxx

 

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By savvyannah

13 comments on “My first Post… To blog or not to blog, that is the Question

  1. Family can be one of the greatest blessings and sometimes one of the heaviest burdens.

    I think of this quote from Richard Bach’s “Illusions”: “The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.”

    The thing is, we experience a lot with our family in a way that can’t be easily equaled, good or bad, and we’re always aware of that. And because of this, we’re also always drawn to family in steady ways, no matter how well it works for us.

    I remember in “Prince of Tides” where Nick Nolte’s character is going to return to to his, with whom he has a difficult relationship, and explains to Barbra Streisand (with whom he’s been having a torrid love affair) that it isn’t because he loves his wife more. It’s because he has loved her longer.

    Family is sort of like that. But always try to keep your perspective and understand where they fit, and what they bring to your life – either in good lessons to follow or bad lessons to avoid. We’re all fallible and we don’t get to choose with whom we’re born to or spend the formative years of our lives. But we can try to work out a path through all the highs and lows that works.

  2. For a first blog entry that was a brave post, honest and deeply personal. “It’s the ones closest to us that can hurt us the most,” is a cliche, but only because it’s true. I agree with Matthew above, and think that we can love those close to us, but sometimes we cannot take responsibility for what they do. My hope is that your parents see the joy you have with your family, and that will help them re-evaluate their own choices… I don’t think it is ever too late.

  3. Thank you for sharing that. Family can be hard work, they can be cruel. And in some cases they can be people you just don’t want to be around.

    The trick is to find something you love and pour the goodness you have into that. It makes the crappier times worth managing. At least, it does for me.

  4. Hey Savvyannah/Placida,
    Well I’m not going round yours, its a musical and my singing voice isn’t that great. LOL.

    Family can be the best thing in the world and at others they can be the biggest chain around your neck. Life is a challenge and you have to find answers and ways to make it work for you. Its too short to spend most of it in the negative so find some positive aspects and keep working towards them.

    We all know people that drink too much and I suspect that you’re like me and pretty much a person who rarely drinks. I’ve seen too many punch ups, too many idiots who think they’re gods on booze and to be honest its one of those things that gets me. Yes I like the odd glass of mead or a beer or a shot of whiskey but I can buy it in and it stays in the kitchen for months but the key is moderation.

    You’re a strong woman, who obviously cares for those around her, so keep on going, don’t let others drag you down and keep working on your dreams.

    • Hey Gareth,
      You’re right, I rarely drink, and for those reasons you listed too 🙂
      I’ve never tried mead though, heard it is delicious..
      Thanks for reading my blog 🙂 I’m actually enjoying writing it!

  5. Great first blog 🙂

    Relationships with parents can be hard. I’m always jealous when I hear of people with great relationships with their parents. I get along okay with mine, but we live several states apart and that makes it a lot easier to get a long with them.

    Julie/Firewolf

  6. What a wonderfully open introduction. Thanks for sharing…family stuff can be hard to cope with at times…especially when alcohol is involved. I’ve got some experience there too…not with my parents, thankfully but with other members. It’s not easy or pleasant to deal with.

  7. Welcome to blogging. I really appreciate this first post of yours, open and candid. Family issues can be some of the most stressful things we deal with in life. Stay strong!

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