Where’s a good swear word when you need one?

One of these days I will see my fathers phone number come up on my phone and I won’t answer it… One day.

So my Dad rang today… I thought it would have been to tell me when they are turning up… But no, that would have been too easy wouldn’t it?!

Apparently my sister has put herself into a clinic, dad was quick to point out it had nothing to do with “booze”. I mentioned that I had been waiting for his call to let me know when they were coming.. They decided not to come, but for some unknown reason, didn’t see it as important to let me know…

Don’t get me wrong, yeah it’s great she’s put herself in a mental hospital.. Fantastic.. But I’ve been through this time and time again.. And when she was ringing a few weeks ago she left a message saying that if I refused to speak to her she would hurt herself and I would have to speak to her while she is in hospital….

Dad said she’s been doing really well (I am sure this is an automated response) up until a few weeks ago, when she started to go downhill but no one knows why… Again with the bullshit! Dad damn well knows she hasn’t been ok.. He rang and had a fit at Nana (his mum) and accused her of giving my sister my phone number (she didn’t) so they all knew she wasn’t ok… They did the usual, let’s pretend it’s not happening and maybe it will go away..
I know Dad is blaming me for this.. But it is not my fault. I am NOT responsible for her life.. She has her choices just as I have mine.

The kicker was he told me my baby sister (who I helped raise, and lived with my husband and 3 children for a long time) had brought and moved into a new home with her boyfriend. I was so hurt that I found out like this. Dad also asked about the kids.. When I told him my youngest has been referred by an optometrist to an eye specialist he didn’t even ask why. (he has a slightly swollen optic nerve.. And yes this is the same kid that has bowel issues, and blizzare allergies)

I guess I just needed to rant.. Again.

Savvyannah

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By savvyannah

The Lovely blog award

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A few weeks ago, the very lovely TJ from Word on the net nominated me for the lovely blog award.

I was deeply humbled and shocked.. I didn’t realize people were actually reading my blog AND remembering who I was 🙂 Twas a lovely moment!

Now, i’m to give you seven facts about myself so here goes:

 

1. I am clairvoyant.. Yes I see dead people.. but not like that.. well sometimes like that, but mostly not.

2. I have 3 children, my 12yo Stepson, my 10yo (going on 25) daughter and my 5yo “baby” son 

3. This September will mark my 11th anniversary to my husband

4. I have a deeply irrational fear to cottonwool.. I know this is ridiculous, hence “irrational”

5. I have a triquatra tattoo on my left foot due to my  love for “Charmed” 

6. I love to read. Kelley Armstrong is my all time favorite author.. last year I met her (15th Of August to be precise) where she gave me Becoming and asked if I wanted to be a Beta reader for 13.. 

7. I love to sing and dance.. I’ve been known to do both at the supermarket… actually I’m thinking that could be why my kids hate shopping with me so much? 😉

 

So here’s my nominations, check them out 🙂

 

1. Steve McHugh… This guy is awesome.. he writes fantastic blogs, check him, and his book: Crimes against Magic out.. 

2.Danielle La Paglia  Danni writes awesome Flash Fiction.. it’s amazingf stuff

3. E.R.’s Mind Madness ER writes about a lot of things, her pets, her family… I love reading it all.

4. Thoughts of a Scot.  I love the different book reviews, but my favourite would have to be the one where she writes about typical Scot words & sayings.. I loved that!

5. Matthew Lee Adams, Matthew is the author of the Winter Fade series and posts about writing tips.

 

Well guys, I hope you’ve enjoyed my blogs this week.. until next time

Much love from

Savvyannah xx

 

By savvyannah

Midweek musings

Well this week seems to be on the way back up! Yay!
I had two clients booked in today and it’s days like these where I know I’m exactly where I need to be doing what I should. There aren’t any words that can really describe it short of phenomenal.

I found myself singing my heart out today, for the first time in about 3 weeks. I even opened the front door, not caring if the neighbors or the people at the doctors surgery across the road heard me. I put on a concert with the help of Adele for my cat and two dogs and I think they enjoyed it! Hehehehe

Tomorrow I’m heading back to the gym, now my face has finally stopped pounding and is no longer swollen, I’m interested to see just how much I can do on the treadmill. I don’t have anything on in the morning, so I don’t have to rush, I can simply take the kids to school and then head off to the gym 🙂

The bottles for my drops I’ll be making have arrived too, and I’m picking them up tomorrow.. I’m so excited about this next step, it will help me with my healings and reiki as well and I’m really excited to have a local beauty and massage salon backing me with this. They will be using my drops for chakra balancing massages.

I feel like I’ve finally climbed that mountain and I’m standing at the top, looking at everything the world has for me. I know exciting times are ahead for me and I can not wait.

Until next time

Love Savvyannah xxx

By savvyannah

Ramblings

Gosh, I really don’t know where to start.. The last couple of weeks have been full of extreme highs and lows, and I’m not really sure if it’s all over just yet.

The prank calls, messages and harassing phone calls from my sister have finally ended.. In between it all my Dad was calling.. (I swear there is something going on there) leaving messages but not returning or answering my calls when I rang him back.
Finally Friday night he rang again, and he informed me that him and Mum are coming down..
They don’t know when though… And it’s probably for 4 days.. Argh.

The last time they visited it was awful. I really think they made some kind of record as to how many people you can piss off/upset in 4 days.

Let’s see there was:
Nana (Dad’s Mum)
Mums sister and brother in law.
Dads brother,
Dads father
Me
My husband
My kids (all 3)
One of my cousins
And some guy who lives in the same town as my Pop but I’m not sure who he is…… (or what it was over!)

I just wanna scream “JERRY JERRY JERRY!”

When talking to a close friend Friday night she said to me it’s amazing I am normal and sane! I think she’s right!
I wish I was brave enough to say to my parents they can not stay here.. But nope… I chickened out.. I’m so grateful my husband has got my back and has said that if there is ANYTHING inappropriate they will be asked to leave. When push comes to shove I will assert myself, I just don’t want the children to see this sort of thing.

Anyway.. My usual blogs are still going to be coming, in the next few weeks I want to talk about my very own copy of Angelic (OMG how exciting!), the lovely blog award, a scarf that I made using a daisy loom, I want to record another song and no doubt there will be something in there about my three beautiful children! I guess I just needed to vent a little still!

Also stay tuned towards the end of August, my family and I are going on our first ever proper holiday ever! One that doesn’t include tents, extreme rain and flooding and lasts longer than 3 days!
I can not wait! And I warn you now you will see cheesy photos, I just love to share! We will be home for a week after that and my hubby and I will celebrate our 11 year anniversary and then the day after that I get to meet SHANNON NOLL!!!! Omg! That is going to be awesome 😀

I can’t believe I almost forgot to share something simply AMAZING!!
This week at the gym, I JOGGED! For a full minute at 5.6kms and then back to really fast walking (4.6-4.8kms) I did this 3 times… I was so amazed at myself! AND! The scales and I are now quite good friends, I’ve lost 1.4kgs.. I’m so so proud of myself for finally sticking to something and seeing some results. Even with the small amount of weight I have lost I am already noticing that my clothes are fitting differently, tops aren’t touching my belly like they used to, and my face looks a little slimmer, I still have a really long way to go, but I’m doing it! I am actually doing this and I’m having fun at the same time!

Until next time, here’s a little teaser of what’s still to come 🙂
Love
Savvyannah xx

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By savvyannah

Bloody Full Moons

Hi guys.

This isn’t my official post for the week.. I have something nicer planned but I need to vent.

I’ve spoken before about my sister, she is bi-polar, alcoholic and has drug issues as well..

well this week has been a doozy. The last time she got to me was Christmas last year when she abused our Nana, one of my aunties and half a dozen cousins.. she started bad mouthing me on FB (no one really knows why, I can’t even see what she writes) and my dad’s side of the family rose to my defense. It was awful, and some really bad things were said.. my disabled uncle was a mess and my poor Nana almost had a breakdown over it.

 

This year when my folks came to visit, Mum and I got into a bit of an argument.. You see she feels it’s my fault my sister HAS BI-POLAR…. (yes I am that talented I can give people mental illnesses) it’s my fault she has “issues” (we are not allowed to call her an alcoholic, because “she’s not”.. I think the Dr who told her if she doesn’t stop drinking she will die (due to her liver being so badly damaged) would disagree) and it’s my fault she “can’t help” using drugs… As you may imagine this wasn’t a really good conversation.. I basically said, after all the problems she has caused (the stress had even made me loose hair.. I had 2 massive bald spots) the emotional manipulation she tried on my daughter (who would wake screaming after having nightmares that her auntie had tried to kill her by making her smell gas fumes) I can no longer take it.

There’s more that’s happened, but this is a blog, not a novel so I will skip to this week.

I get a message via my Healings and Readings page on FB saying she loves me and misses me.. well I do love her, and I miss who she used to be..  but I didn’t reply.. I just left it, I’m not ready to speak to her yet… then I got more messages saying she would ring me. This was not good. I started vomiting. This is how much I can’t handle the thought of talking to her.. I physically  get ill!! I rang a friend the next day and she came and spent the whole day with me (which was a godsend) and I thought I was in the clear.

Last night, she got stuck into my Nan (again) one of my friends and rang me 16 times in an hour. 

Yes we turned my phone off. I unplugged the house phone and my husband listened to and deleted any voice mails she left (7) the last few were threatening to harm herself and end up in hospital if I didn’t speak to her.

I will not be made responsible for her actions.

 

I love her, if I didn’t none of this would hurt so damn much. But I can’t do it. I can’t have this in my life. I have 3 children I need to protect and I need to be able to be happy, not live my life being shit scared whenever the phone rings. Being abused when I care for my sick child instead of speaking to her on the phone.. Once she even had a go because I love my children more than her.. she has kids.. surely she would understand my children come first every single time. If I have to make sacrifices so their lives are better than I will.. not questions asked.

I’m not saying I’ll never speak to her again. But I am saying, until she is sober for 12 months I don’t want any contact, and when I do I want it my mail, normal mail, not email.  This way she can’t just blurt things in anger.. she may not always mean them but I don’t care it still hurts.

 

Anyway, I’m trying to move on. Trying to lead a happy life. I am focusing on my children, my husband and myself. 

Thank you for your support.

love 

Savvyannah

By savvyannah

Another week

This week has been a mixed one.. My 5year old still has an ear infection, and is still on meds, but is very much improving (yay) I have a sinus infection, and my 12 year old has the flu. Aramis (my 5yo) has the flu too, but has almost fully recovered 😀

Sadly I’ve only been to the gym once this week, it’s hard during school holidays! Am hoping to get there over the weekend.. Otherwise I’m just going to have to get the wii fit out 🙂

I also had a lovely group of kids today for my affirmation and meditation workshop. This workshop was aimed at teaching the children how to use affirmations. I helped them write their own, which we then laminated for them to either put up at home, or use at school.

I’ve also contacted a homeopath about possibly ordering some drops to help balance my hormones. I’m looking into all my options right now. The first one is completely ruled out as it has been proven to increase the risk of womb cancer! No thank you! The second option is a low pill, but as I mentioned in my previous post could make me put on weight, but as Gareth mentioned, I will have more energy so exercising will be easier so that may counteract the weight gain issue.. But I wanted to see if there was a more natural option, so I’m looking into this woman, who is local to my hometown as well.. No decisions made as yet, but I’m exploring my options!

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By savvyannah

Brag time

Hi guys,
I truly believe I have the most amazing children in the world… And I’m not biased! 😛
So l’d like to share some precious moments with you all.
This first link is my daughter (she was 9 at the time) reading a story she wrote for me as a birthday present for me this February.. I loved it!

This video is my 5 year old son and I singing a song I made up for him (to the tune of you are my sunshine) and we sing it together everyday. Sometimes several times a day!
It started off with him singing “my baby” but then he decided that since he was 5 he must be my big baby.. I disagreed and said, no nick is the big baby, he’s 12, so you have to be little… We’ve come to the compromise of medium baby hehehe

Finally I would like to share part of a family tradition I had started before my youngest was even born. When I grew up we would have tea watching the news (a common thing in Australia) and we were supposed to be quiet so my parents could listen. It used to drive me nuts! I had so many important things to share about my day! And at 5 years old, I didn’t understand how current affairs could be more important that who I played with at school!
So when my children were old enough to talk, we started a tradition, where the TV is turned off, and we each take it in turns to say “my good thing for the day was….” once you have shared you get to ask someone else. The children love it and I love it.. I love hearing about what was so important to them on that day, and I love that if they’ve had a bad day, we talk about it as a family and help them to see at least one good thing that has happened on that day.. Sort of teaching about the silver lining 😉
Around my birthday this year, the kids thought it would be fun to sing our good thing for the day, so every Friday night we sing it. We can sing in any style we like, and we laugh so much! My husband has even sung opera style one night, and mr 12 had tears streaming down his cheeks!
So this is a snippet, of my youngest, Aramis singing his good thing for the day.

I think this tradition is one of the ones I am most proud of, it always brings happiness and laughter, and allows each child to see that their day does matter. They, matter!
I love that they have embraced this and share it with their friends… So I’m going to ask you, what was your good thing for today?

Until next time
Savvyannah
Xx

By savvyannah

Oh happy day

Today was my drs appointment, and I am thrilled to say YAY! It’s nothing serious 🙂
The only issues I have at the moment are that my estrogen levels are really low, but that is easily fixed 🙂 not sure if I will take the medication for it or not yet as it may make me put on weight. The dr has said its my choice..
Taking the medication will make my skin less greasy and possibly give me more energy cos sometimes I fall in a bit of a hole. If I don’t take the medication nothing will change BUT I will not get any worse. So I have a little bit of thinking to do, the dr also said that I can try the meds for a few months and decide from their if the changes are worth it.
So yay yay and YAY! So very glad and relieved it isn’t breast cancer or anything else nasty!

By savvyannah