Ramblings

Gosh, I really don’t know where to start.. The last couple of weeks have been full of extreme highs and lows, and I’m not really sure if it’s all over just yet.

The prank calls, messages and harassing phone calls from my sister have finally ended.. In between it all my Dad was calling.. (I swear there is something going on there) leaving messages but not returning or answering my calls when I rang him back.
Finally Friday night he rang again, and he informed me that him and Mum are coming down..
They don’t know when though… And it’s probably for 4 days.. Argh.

The last time they visited it was awful. I really think they made some kind of record as to how many people you can piss off/upset in 4 days.

Let’s see there was:
Nana (Dad’s Mum)
Mums sister and brother in law.
Dads brother,
Dads father
Me
My husband
My kids (all 3)
One of my cousins
And some guy who lives in the same town as my Pop but I’m not sure who he is…… (or what it was over!)

I just wanna scream “JERRY JERRY JERRY!”

When talking to a close friend Friday night she said to me it’s amazing I am normal and sane! I think she’s right!
I wish I was brave enough to say to my parents they can not stay here.. But nope… I chickened out.. I’m so grateful my husband has got my back and has said that if there is ANYTHING inappropriate they will be asked to leave. When push comes to shove I will assert myself, I just don’t want the children to see this sort of thing.

Anyway.. My usual blogs are still going to be coming, in the next few weeks I want to talk about my very own copy of Angelic (OMG how exciting!), the lovely blog award, a scarf that I made using a daisy loom, I want to record another song and no doubt there will be something in there about my three beautiful children! I guess I just needed to vent a little still!

Also stay tuned towards the end of August, my family and I are going on our first ever proper holiday ever! One that doesn’t include tents, extreme rain and flooding and lasts longer than 3 days!
I can not wait! And I warn you now you will see cheesy photos, I just love to share! We will be home for a week after that and my hubby and I will celebrate our 11 year anniversary and then the day after that I get to meet SHANNON NOLL!!!! Omg! That is going to be awesome 😀

I can’t believe I almost forgot to share something simply AMAZING!!
This week at the gym, I JOGGED! For a full minute at 5.6kms and then back to really fast walking (4.6-4.8kms) I did this 3 times… I was so amazed at myself! AND! The scales and I are now quite good friends, I’ve lost 1.4kgs.. I’m so so proud of myself for finally sticking to something and seeing some results. Even with the small amount of weight I have lost I am already noticing that my clothes are fitting differently, tops aren’t touching my belly like they used to, and my face looks a little slimmer, I still have a really long way to go, but I’m doing it! I am actually doing this and I’m having fun at the same time!

Until next time, here’s a little teaser of what’s still to come 🙂
Love
Savvyannah xx

20120722-213742.jpg

Advertisements
By savvyannah

Bloody Full Moons

Hi guys.

This isn’t my official post for the week.. I have something nicer planned but I need to vent.

I’ve spoken before about my sister, she is bi-polar, alcoholic and has drug issues as well..

well this week has been a doozy. The last time she got to me was Christmas last year when she abused our Nana, one of my aunties and half a dozen cousins.. she started bad mouthing me on FB (no one really knows why, I can’t even see what she writes) and my dad’s side of the family rose to my defense. It was awful, and some really bad things were said.. my disabled uncle was a mess and my poor Nana almost had a breakdown over it.

 

This year when my folks came to visit, Mum and I got into a bit of an argument.. You see she feels it’s my fault my sister HAS BI-POLAR…. (yes I am that talented I can give people mental illnesses) it’s my fault she has “issues” (we are not allowed to call her an alcoholic, because “she’s not”.. I think the Dr who told her if she doesn’t stop drinking she will die (due to her liver being so badly damaged) would disagree) and it’s my fault she “can’t help” using drugs… As you may imagine this wasn’t a really good conversation.. I basically said, after all the problems she has caused (the stress had even made me loose hair.. I had 2 massive bald spots) the emotional manipulation she tried on my daughter (who would wake screaming after having nightmares that her auntie had tried to kill her by making her smell gas fumes) I can no longer take it.

There’s more that’s happened, but this is a blog, not a novel so I will skip to this week.

I get a message via my Healings and Readings page on FB saying she loves me and misses me.. well I do love her, and I miss who she used to be..  but I didn’t reply.. I just left it, I’m not ready to speak to her yet… then I got more messages saying she would ring me. This was not good. I started vomiting. This is how much I can’t handle the thought of talking to her.. I physically  get ill!! I rang a friend the next day and she came and spent the whole day with me (which was a godsend) and I thought I was in the clear.

Last night, she got stuck into my Nan (again) one of my friends and rang me 16 times in an hour. 

Yes we turned my phone off. I unplugged the house phone and my husband listened to and deleted any voice mails she left (7) the last few were threatening to harm herself and end up in hospital if I didn’t speak to her.

I will not be made responsible for her actions.

 

I love her, if I didn’t none of this would hurt so damn much. But I can’t do it. I can’t have this in my life. I have 3 children I need to protect and I need to be able to be happy, not live my life being shit scared whenever the phone rings. Being abused when I care for my sick child instead of speaking to her on the phone.. Once she even had a go because I love my children more than her.. she has kids.. surely she would understand my children come first every single time. If I have to make sacrifices so their lives are better than I will.. not questions asked.

I’m not saying I’ll never speak to her again. But I am saying, until she is sober for 12 months I don’t want any contact, and when I do I want it my mail, normal mail, not email.  This way she can’t just blurt things in anger.. she may not always mean them but I don’t care it still hurts.

 

Anyway, I’m trying to move on. Trying to lead a happy life. I am focusing on my children, my husband and myself. 

Thank you for your support.

love 

Savvyannah

By savvyannah

Another week

This week has been a mixed one.. My 5year old still has an ear infection, and is still on meds, but is very much improving (yay) I have a sinus infection, and my 12 year old has the flu. Aramis (my 5yo) has the flu too, but has almost fully recovered 😀

Sadly I’ve only been to the gym once this week, it’s hard during school holidays! Am hoping to get there over the weekend.. Otherwise I’m just going to have to get the wii fit out 🙂

I also had a lovely group of kids today for my affirmation and meditation workshop. This workshop was aimed at teaching the children how to use affirmations. I helped them write their own, which we then laminated for them to either put up at home, or use at school.

I’ve also contacted a homeopath about possibly ordering some drops to help balance my hormones. I’m looking into all my options right now. The first one is completely ruled out as it has been proven to increase the risk of womb cancer! No thank you! The second option is a low pill, but as I mentioned in my previous post could make me put on weight, but as Gareth mentioned, I will have more energy so exercising will be easier so that may counteract the weight gain issue.. But I wanted to see if there was a more natural option, so I’m looking into this woman, who is local to my hometown as well.. No decisions made as yet, but I’m exploring my options!

20120705-230342.jpg

By savvyannah

Brag time

Hi guys,
I truly believe I have the most amazing children in the world… And I’m not biased! 😛
So l’d like to share some precious moments with you all.
This first link is my daughter (she was 9 at the time) reading a story she wrote for me as a birthday present for me this February.. I loved it!

This video is my 5 year old son and I singing a song I made up for him (to the tune of you are my sunshine) and we sing it together everyday. Sometimes several times a day!
It started off with him singing “my baby” but then he decided that since he was 5 he must be my big baby.. I disagreed and said, no nick is the big baby, he’s 12, so you have to be little… We’ve come to the compromise of medium baby hehehe

Finally I would like to share part of a family tradition I had started before my youngest was even born. When I grew up we would have tea watching the news (a common thing in Australia) and we were supposed to be quiet so my parents could listen. It used to drive me nuts! I had so many important things to share about my day! And at 5 years old, I didn’t understand how current affairs could be more important that who I played with at school!
So when my children were old enough to talk, we started a tradition, where the TV is turned off, and we each take it in turns to say “my good thing for the day was….” once you have shared you get to ask someone else. The children love it and I love it.. I love hearing about what was so important to them on that day, and I love that if they’ve had a bad day, we talk about it as a family and help them to see at least one good thing that has happened on that day.. Sort of teaching about the silver lining 😉
Around my birthday this year, the kids thought it would be fun to sing our good thing for the day, so every Friday night we sing it. We can sing in any style we like, and we laugh so much! My husband has even sung opera style one night, and mr 12 had tears streaming down his cheeks!
So this is a snippet, of my youngest, Aramis singing his good thing for the day.

I think this tradition is one of the ones I am most proud of, it always brings happiness and laughter, and allows each child to see that their day does matter. They, matter!
I love that they have embraced this and share it with their friends… So I’m going to ask you, what was your good thing for today?

Until next time
Savvyannah
Xx

By savvyannah

Oh happy day

Today was my drs appointment, and I am thrilled to say YAY! It’s nothing serious 🙂
The only issues I have at the moment are that my estrogen levels are really low, but that is easily fixed 🙂 not sure if I will take the medication for it or not yet as it may make me put on weight. The dr has said its my choice..
Taking the medication will make my skin less greasy and possibly give me more energy cos sometimes I fall in a bit of a hole. If I don’t take the medication nothing will change BUT I will not get any worse. So I have a little bit of thinking to do, the dr also said that I can try the meds for a few months and decide from their if the changes are worth it.
So yay yay and YAY! So very glad and relieved it isn’t breast cancer or anything else nasty!

By savvyannah

School holidays

I’m really looking forward to school holidays.. 2 weeks at home with the kids. No early morning starts and plenty of time for hugs 🙂
I am once again running my Children’s Affirmation and Meditation Workshop, where I teach children how to use affirmations for everyday life and also introduce them to meditation, allowing them to become relaxed and let their imaginations help guide their meditative journeys.
I’m also thinking about how I will fit in going to the gym during the holidays, at this stage I’m going to go when my husband gets home from work. I am really proud of how often I’ve been going to the gym, this week I have been everyday except one!
So far I’ve been really surprised at how much I am enjoying going to the gym, I find myself thinking about it at night, working out how I’ll fit it in to my next days schedule.. The biggest surprise so far is how disappointed I feel when I realize that I have to leave the gym and head home!
I’m still only on the treadmill, but I’m trying really hard to push myself a little bit harder each time, whether it’s an extra 5-10mins on the treadmill or upping the speed I’m walking at.

We have a family function on the weekend to go to, we’ve arranged babysitters for our children.. I was a bit concerned about some of the people that will be there, when they drink they have a tendency to become rude and disrespectful, and really inappropriate around children. Since its for my brother in laws birthday, we can’t really not go, but I can at least make sure the kids aren’t subjected to anything they shouldn’t be.
I really should add that the crazy people aren’t our family.. My BIL’s GF has a family (herself included) that would put most Jerry Springfield guests to shame. There seems to be dramas anytime more than three of them get together, mostly revolving around conversations that go like this:
person one “what did you say about my best friends brothers girlfriends daughter?”
person two “I didn’t say nuffin”
Person one “bullshit, my Aunties best friends sister heard you and she don’t tell lies”
Person three “if you don’t leave my cuz alone ima gunna smack you in the head”
Person one “and besides, you don’t even have no friends cos you just write shit on Facebook all day”
Usually at this point, there’s a mad scramble for phones, so they can all update there statuses (blocked by myself months ago) and find out how many people believe that person two is a “skanky lame faced hoe”
I’m hoping that most of this can at least wait until after the cake, I’d really like to have some before we leave!
Anyway, thanks again for allowing me to share part of my life with you.
Enjoy your weekend, and be sure to have fun!

Love Savvyannah
Xxx

By savvyannah

hmm and ahh.

So I have had a few awkward health issues lately..  and I though (after some prodding from friends) I thought I should get my act together and head to the drs..

to cut a long story short, I had to have some blood tests done and maybe and MRI scan depending on the results. The Dr suspects my pituitary gland is working over time, and if it’s just that I can be fixed with medication.. but if it’s because of a growth it can mean other stuff.  99% of the time the growths are benign.. but sometimes they aren’t.

I still have to wait and find out when my husbands tonsils are coming out and my 5yo is still having minor problems with his bowel.. I simply do not have time to be sick.  argh!

so i’m probably getting worried about nothing.. and I can’t do anything about it.. I won’t have any results until at least Monday.. going to be a long weekend..

I feel really silly complaining and worrying about this.. there are plenty others out there who are far worse off than me..  but I can’t help it.  

so that’s my whinge over and done with.. next blog will be happier.. I promise!

Love Savvyannah

xx

 

By savvyannah

That was the week that was

Things are finally starting to slow down here. My daughters birthday went really well, she had two friends sleep over and as you can guess, they were very chatty!
I got them to play a game where I had frozen a block of chocolate 🙂 they had to sit in a circle and take turns rolling the dice. When they rolled a six they had to put on a pair of gloves, a scarf and a beanie and then try and cut the chocolate with a knife and fork!
It was hilarious! They were all in fits of giggles and every time one of them rolled a six they would all yell “SIX!”
The day of her birthday we had family up and of course had a cake. I made some cupcakes

20120622-211248.jpg

Which were a hit!

I also made a drastic move with my hair.. I am now a red head… A real orangey red head!
And my lobby curly hair is now sitting up above my shoulders… And when it’s curly I think it’s going to be just below my ears… Haven’t had it this short in ages!

20120622-211609.jpg

Oh! And I’ve been to the gym twice this week! First time in my life! I was so proud of myself today,I spent 35 mins on the treadmill and got up to 5.3kmph on a 2% gradient.. Feeling mighty fine right now and really looking forward to seeing a slimmer, smaller me in the future!

With much love
Savvyannah

By savvyannah

Numbness

 

 

The numbess washes over me.. I am blind and yet I see.

My heart has dropped a thousand miles,

Why is it so hard to believe?

The flame that once burned so bright, is all but a soften glow.

I’ve tried, I’ve cried, I’ve died inside. Not that you would ever know.

 

Somehow this has consumed you. You’re now nothing but a shell..

It’s almost like you’ve come to believe you deserve your own personal hell.

Despite it all, despite my tears, my anger and my pain.

I will never ever give up hope, that one day you’ll say my name.

 

And instead of saying it with hatered, full of bitterness and spite.

You’ll understand the choice I made, the one that haunts me til this night.

Until that day I live in hope, that tomorrow will be the day.

The day you make the choice and say I no longer wish to  live this way.

And when you do, reach out for help, and follow it all the way through.

Just know I’ll be standing here, arms wide open ready to  say I love you.

By savvyannah

Complicated hey?

So turns out things weren’t quite ready to slow down just yet!

This week has been good, but the complications are still here, and to be honest, I think they always will be, I’m just learning new tactics about how to process them all.

Friday night all three of my kids went to a friends for a sleep over and my hubby and I went to see Dark Shadows (I won tickets!) so we had a night out that cost us $11 (can’t go to the movies without Popcorn!) came home and started madly making things for Nick’s surprise party.

Saturday we picked the youngest two up, and Nick stayed at our friends to “help her out” while we set up. When I went to pick him up for the party he still had no idea, and as I pulled in the driveway I made him close his eyes, I helped him up the front steps and when we got him inside he opened his eyes and everyone yelled “SURPRISE!” The look on his face was priceless, he went bright red and gave me the biggest hug.. it was such a beautiful moment, and I must admit I teared it up a bit!

I made these super cool cupcakes, spagetti and meatballsImage

which Nick adored! and my hubby made him a train cake, which Nick also loved.. but lets just say, there weren’t any cupcakes left 😉

Sunday was an almost lazy day, we watched Nick play footy and then chilled out and listened to the rain, I could do that all day!!

Monday saw my husband going back to work, after a week off for tonsilitis, My stepson Nick was back off to his Mother’s for the week and my 2 children (Aanya and Aramis) were off to school.

Tuesday, was amazing! I have found out from Shannon Noll‘s  management team that I will get to meet him, in PERSON when he comes to my home town in September.. I screamed… and screamed.. and then screamed. My heart was pounding like you seriously would not believe, and for the rest of the night not a lot was absorbed into my brain!  

Wednesday I headed on down to my local Theater where Shannon will be preforming, to see if the tickets were on sale yet (a woman was SUPPOSED to notify me as soon as they came up for sale) only to find out, yes they are for sale… but there are only TWO seats left in the front row and they can’t reserve them for me.. I had $70 to last me the week.. (after having hubby in hospital and Nick’s birthday my purse was empty) I had gone from being on a complete HIGH to hitting the bottom, rolling a little and then falling over the side. To say I was sad would be an understatement. I went to visit a friend and cried and cried… I was talking in such a high pitch voice and was talking so fast I’m surprised she could understand me! 

This beautiful friend of mine went over to an ATM and withdrew the money so that I could get front row tickets! I was so excited, back on a high again!  

Wednesday was Nick’s 12 birthday… We were all really excited. I had to go to his school before picking him up and have a meeting with his Mother and the Hearing Impairment co-ordinator. I felt like I had been doing 15 rounds with Mike Tyson.  I was so drained. I could really have a whole blog dedicated to how much this woman makes things complicated, but there seriously is not enough words in the English language to fully explain how exaspareted I feel when I have to constantally deal with lies, deception and sheer stupidity,

Anyway, so today, Thursday in my part of the world, I weighed myself.. I really didn’t want to because last week I didn’t loose a thing, but OMG I am so proud of myself! I am down 2.3kgs and I did my best effort on the wii so far.  I did 9 mins of Yoga first, I’m really enjoying the stretching, not the hardcore stuff just the palm tree, warrior and sun salutation. I then moved on to the step areobics and then set it up so I could do 20 mins of free stepping whilst watching Supernatural. 

I almost gave up when the remote told me I had only been going for 5 mins. At the 10 min mark, I really wanted to whip this chirpy voice’s butt.. by 15mins, I had started talking back to it! Thankfully when the 20mins had finished I had enough marbles left to sit down and realize what I had just achieved. I had almost done 30 mins (was 29mins) of exercise, and REAL exercise, none of this “I’m walking to the fridge” business… and I actually felt good.. who would have thought hey?

So tonight I’m sitting here typing and you know what? I actually feel good about myself. I feel like maybe I do have something to offer this world, and maybe I’m good enough to make it listen! I’m still struggling with my mirror work, well that’s stretching the truth, struggling implies I’m attempting it. I still have not managed to pick the darn thing up and look into the mirror and say “I love you” but I think tonight may just be the night!

Today also had some down points, my hubby was back at the doctor again, he has tonsillitis, finished taking the antibiotics 3 days ago and it’s reared it’s ugly head already! Thankfully this time we caught it before he couldn’t breathe properly! So please keep your fingers crossed for me that his Doctor can remove them soon!

But tomorrow is another day, and I’m loving that I’m able to share my thoughts with you all.. I haven’t given up on posting a song either.. am tossing up between Jace Everett’s “Bad Things”, Alannah Myles “Black Velvet” or Shannon Noll’s “Switch me on”.

So watch this space, cos I’m coming back next week!

Love 

Savvyannah

xxxx

By savvyannah